Paid to feel

I get paid to feel.

That is my job.

That facet of my personality, that I was so shamed for, is actually how I make my living.

How perfectly unexpected...

I used to pray, that God would take away who I am, so I could be normal... feel accepted.

Loneliness was my existence, with so much time to think... to feel...

As a child, I was accused of making "mountains out of molehills."   BUT the mountains weren't small lumps at all.  Those molehills were screaming MOUNTAINS of REALITY and TRUTH.  

My core feelings cut the darkness and shed light, even when I shuttered at the rejection I faced.

There is a power that gave me unexplainable truth... And that power, gave me guidance.  And continues, even to this day.

I just have to listen to it...

I sense things I don't want to.
I visualize everything, and I have an ever powerful imagination.
In some instances, it has saved me from danger.
I have a gift and a curse, and when I feel, and when I think, I see and experience it all at a visceral level.

I prayed for God to take all of this away...

But now I see that it's in the flaws and the beauty of imperfection and raw emotion that others feel free enough to become more transparent, more real, and more human.

More in need of a Savior.
More in need of connection.

When I am TRULY myself, I experience how vulnerable I really am, and how others want to be accepted just as they are...

Human BEings.